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He Stood You Up? Here’s How to Handle It

Being stood up hurts. There’s no way around it, but it’s happened to the best of us. What’s the best way to handle it? Should you call the guy? Drive past his house? Show up at his favorite hangout?


Once you do any of these things, you lower your value. You are perceived as desperate (and you are NOT desperate). Sure, it’s possible that an emergency prevented him from making your date. Maybe his mother had to be rushed to the hospital. Maybe his boss pushed him onto a plane to Dallas. Who knows?

It’s not your problem. Even if his mother did get sick or he was forced to leave town, it’s still his responsibility to call you and apologize for not being able to meet. That’s it.

Now, say you’ve been stood up after meeting a seemingly great guy at your favorite bar or bookstore or cafe. What do you do then? Surely you shouldn’t have to give up your favorite hangout to avoid running into this jerk, right? Right. It’s your bar, bookstore, or cafe. You have as much right (or more) as he does to go there.

So what do you do if you run into him?

Let him say hello first. If he doesn’t say hello, make no attempt to get his attention. (And if the coward scurries out of the place in the sad hope that you don’t spot him, thank your lucky stars he stood you up in the first place. He’s a loser.)

If he does say hello, smile and play it cool. Say something like, “Hey, weren’t we supposed to get together the other night?” Wait for his pathetic answer. Enjoy watching him dance for you because dance he will.

If he offers an excuse, say, “No big deal. I met up with some friends.” Smile as genuinely as possible. Turn on your heel and walk away.

Now, you may be tempted into thinking, “But this guy is perfect for me. We really connected that first night. Maybe I should give him another chance.” If you insist, make him work for that second chance. If he follows you and asks if he can try again, say, “Eh, you know, you really seemed like a great guy, but I’m not used to being stood up.”

And walk away.

If he persists, say, “I can’t promise anything.”

And walk away.

If he calls you, say, “Not this weekend. Maybe next weekend.”

If he calls again, agree to meet him someplace you like (and where you’re comfortable). Tell him, “Don’t blow it this time.”

And see what happens.

The key to this technique is to be willing to walk away. You must be open to the possibility that just because a man seems like he’s “the one” for you, or because you have so much in common, he still may not be the right guy.

If you suffer the indignity of being stood up, understand that it has nothing to do with you. Once you understand that it has everything to do with THE GUY, your fortunes will change.

Write off men who don’t keep their word, and you will stop attracting them. It’s quite possible no man will ever dare stand you up again. You’ll stop giving off that “sure, you can take advantage of me” vibe. Your determination not to accept bad behavior is a signal to the universe that you are willing to accept nothing but the best.

Source by Terry Hernon MacDonald

About Maria Kane

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